I am NOT the most fashionable guy in the world.

Usually it is my girlfriend who pick the clothes for me -
not for my benefit...

... but so that she doesn't feel embarrassed when we go out
in public together!

If I were the one to pick my clothes, I'd rather pick the
sweats and t-shirt, coupled with my old worn sneakers. I
mean, I think fashion is silly.

I can definitely appreciate the artistic aspect of fashion
design and style. When you look at a really well dressed
woman, her outfit is like a work of art, and I dig that.

I kinda lose respect when a guy is "too stylish."

Don't get me wrong, a man should present himself like he
means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality,
well-fitting clothes are a fundamental part of masculine
expression.

But some men take it too far.

Case in point, the obsession with "peacocking" in the
pickup Community for the past several years.

When I hear this term it makes me cringe.

YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.

Let me explain what is "peacocking," in case you're not
familiar.

There was an emergence of routine-based "game" a while ago
that rely heavily on superficial techniques, status games,
and over-analysis of social interactions.

This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw
the value of it.

Major reason is I saw how pretending to be someone other
than yourself, and it JUST FELT WRONG saying the routines
and joke that the other guys came up with.

On top of that, the PRIMARY FOCUS of all that strategizing
and game-playing was to covertly get approval from women,
while making them feel insecure so they'd think you were
cooler than them.

Think about the layers of bullshit in that approach to
dating. Not only are you faking your personality because you

a) look for approval (as if girls were an authority on what
makes man a man)

b) hide the truth that you're looking for approval

c) play games with women so that they feel insecure and try
to seek your approval

YUCK

To dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so that
women would "notice" you and want to talk to you is a kind
of "peacock,". And "peacock" is one of the main techniques
in approaching women.

Wearing a nice watch, or a necklace isn't a bad thing
because some have personal meaning.

But don't do it to make women like you.

I'm pretty sure a lot of men has seen this approach on TV
shows, straining to make sense out of this hare-brained
"technique."

It's sad to say that some students of other pickup schools
that I've encountered,  were not only nervous, misdirected,
clumsy, they looked RETARDED.

So I want to make a direct proof when it comes to fashion
and approaching women.

There are only a handful of things you need to pay
attention to when it comes to your appearance.

After you get this stuff handled, you should put it out of
your mind, and not wait for women to notice you before you
TAKE ACTION.

Before we move on, I have a secret that has to reveal.

(Continued in Part 2)

Today we will talk about the topic called SHAPING. Specifically shaping in the behavior of a woman.

There are a number of tools of shaping that are used to set a strong precedent of behavior in a woman.

Here's a Quick Question >>>

Do you remember feeling motivated in a situation with a woman, and she talked about how she loved when her boyfriend did something very specific?

Perhaps it makes you think to do the same exact thing?

-or-

Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to impress the woman when she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?

Of course... we've all been there.

Now what's important here is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be aware of the truth that you were emotionally compelled to behave in a certain way...

Whether your woman knew it or not (most likely she didn't) she was SHAPING you.

Hey this isn't necessarily a bad thing... For people do it to each other all the time.

But most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is not aligned with your desired outcome.

So starting right now we will change that.

There are a number of ways you can start to apply shaping in your interactions with women.

And I've split them into 5 different categories.

Now don't get me wrong. For this is a huge topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE. So right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.

So let's look at the five different categories of shaping.

1. Screening questions.

These questions is specifically designed to:

A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.

There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.

For example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.

Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most overt out of all the shaping techniques.

They are easiest to employ right away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.

2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.

This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.

It's a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.

Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."

Because you are justifying your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.

And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way consistent with that.

3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.

Now we're getting warmer.

This concept along with the next two, are very devious.

They are so devious, in fact, that women use them all the time.

It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them naturally!

Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my best techniques have been stolen directly from the women I know who have the very best game.

The idea in this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that portrays what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.

For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:

"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."

The beauty of that is, it doesn't even have to be true!

(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)

4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.

This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.

The idea is that - if you see a woman doing something (for example, drinking like crazy while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.

Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.

Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of  it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...

You could say:

"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your own desires."

By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact rewarding them and amplifying that same behavior in the future.

By selecting the aspect of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING the girl's future behavior.

(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also killer in the field)

5. Reward calibration

Like for instance, giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.

Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to reward her with something you want her to work for or chase after.

Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or sex, but NOT a material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!

(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)

So be good, and use these concepts accordingly.

I have seen the recent episode of Mystery's the Pick Up Artist that was aired on VH1 a few weeks ago and I wanted to share with you guys my predictions.

What I liked:

1. Ridiculous Outfits of Mystery. No one can peacock like mystery, hands down. And the shows budget really allows for some fancy stuff. I dig it. Peacocking that hard is actually quite a challenge. Don't believe me? Go to your local lair and look at all the guys who try it and get it wrong. It's a  trainwreck.

2. The Students. I love pick up students in general, they're always so eager to learn, share a common interest with me, and so grateful for the even the smallest amounts of improvement they make. Students are hands down the #1 reason why I do what I do. The Challenges. Creative, fun and entertaining. Winner of one contest gets to walk around with a cute puppy in the next. Hillarious.

What I didn't like:

1. Mystery not knowing why some of his students fail... He's so attached to his structured method, he literally has blind spots as to why his students get blown out... "Yeah he should have used a false time constraint". How about his lame body language, complete lack of masculine vibe and messed up compliance ratios?

2. J-Dog's hair. I don't think I need to go into this. Looks like the poor dude passed out on a park bench in the middle of a graffiti contest. While there were certainly things about this show that bug the working pick up artist in me, I have to hand it to Mystery and VH1 for presenting the community in a good light to a mainstream audience.

3. Using 4 year old, tired-out material, like "flossing before you brush etc.." Come on, we stopped using that stuff 3 years ago for GOOD reason! LAME, non-sensual conversation that goes NOWHERE! Sure you'll get the girl to answer your question, but that's not always what I call PROGRESS. If you're going to have the guys memorizing routines, why not make them powerful, masculine and effective?

Out of the four dudes left, here's some predictions:

Alvaro: This guy COULD become a master pua, but not in a few weeks, and not under Mystery's tuleage. He's got that "inner flame" that drives him to excel at different things, but he's going to need to really work to get consistent, and kill his approach anxiety and fear. He's still got the brakes on. The minute he gets past that, his game will explode.

Joe: I think this guy has got serious potential on the show. He's got the attitude down, but he's the type that will get a certain level of success and become complacent. He'll get a girlfriend and develop his social circle and work off that. Not TRUE master pua material. I just don't see the kind of passion/drive that would carry him to Master PUAdom. He may do well on the show, however, just due to the lack of competition.

Brady: Tall, good looking, fast learner. He's chill, makes steady progress. His use of corny material, and constant second guessing of himself is what's holding himself back. If he just chills out and acts NORMAL he'll be on fire. Again though, like joe, will probably become complacent at a certain level.

Pradeep: Could become a master pua, but he's gotta seriously increase his sensuality. He's in the friend zone still. Doesn't matter if he got that chick's number on the show because that was FRIENDLY number close. He's interesting but... too interesting. It's giving the woman something to be attracted to, but those things are too exterior to get that deep physical attraction that a pua needs to do fast pulls, sensual selection switching, multiple relationship stuff, etc...

Overall, the show is super entertaining and I'll definitely be trying to catch another episode if I can.

Creating a sensual tension is important in any interaction with a woman. It brings energy, or charge to the interaction. Its application is subtle, but powerful.

There are many concepts floating around in the seduction community about sensual tension. And I prefer a very pure definition of sensual tension because it is grounded in real sensual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman.

Sensual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sensual interest.

Some examples of these are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sensual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sensual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sensual thoughts in a woman’s mind.

Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups.

When the time is right, I create sensual tension by focusing my sensual desire on my woman, but not making any overt advances. I maintain intrigue, a sense of ambiguity, which keeps her focused on me, and directs her mind toward sensual thoughts. The state that is with me is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.

There are two reasons why building sensual tension is so important. First, women love to be become intimate. A sensual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.

The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood?

In spite of having a bad mood, you would probably find yourself smiling and cheering up.

How do you feel around someone when they are nervous?

You feel nervous too! Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sensually arousing, but you weren’t doing anything sensual. You probably got excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other.

State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage.

How to have a controlled arousal state

It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sensually aroused. (State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having “peace of mind.”)

The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (sober), get experience talking to women.

Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet, and regular exercise all help.

Creating Tension

For the “getting turned on” part – creating tension, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.) zinc supplementation, eating lots of animal protein, and if possible, have a regular intimacy.

Now you know how to get aroused. During your interactions with women, simply focus or imagine on what she’d look like naked and becoming intimate with her, or whatever naughty thoughts you want to entertain.

The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information.

These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sensual tension, we enter a sensual state, but don’t verbalize our desire.

If we did, she may like it, or not like it, but at now she knows where she stands - she is validated.

That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.”

Another key point about verbalizing sensual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading of becoming intimate. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in her mind for getting isolated with you.

Imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting?

True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere.

But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention.

Once you have mastered that concept, you're well on your way.

Now, this is the "Part II" of the storytelling newsletter.

Just a recap in “Part I” we have talked about why a storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically.

I know you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!

In “Part I” there were two things I asked of you. The first one was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and second was to write down 5 things about your identity that you want people to know about you.

We are going to start out working with these things.

First lets take out the 7-10 story. What you will do know is to select 5 solid ideas, eliminating those that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were "you kind of had to be there" stories.

Now that you got 5 solid ideas, reflect on these stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection to you, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience. Then after that we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.

And of course I'm sure there were still some of you out there that listed less than 10 ideas or maybe around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.

For now, your main target with these stories are women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)

Also don't hesitate to ask your friends about which story topics they fine more interesting to hear, to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.

As said before I will be doing this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.

I am going to try to discard all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me, so I figure this is a prime example)

"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and as I am having a good time roaming around and making some new friends there's one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night. And he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."

Okay, pretty annoying story...I know, but we can turn this into something awesome.
First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.

The first component, is "The Hook Question"

The object of the hook question is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.

Hook question is use to captivate the group and it is the line you deliver to introduce your story.
Before you start using hook question in your story make sure that the attention of EVERYONE in the group is in you. If one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.

Make an eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.

There are two different types of hook questions.
---> An open ended hook question;  and
---> A yes or no hook question.

I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.
So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"

A possible yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"
So let's add this to the story... (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)
For my story, I will be using the open ended hook questions and it goes like this:

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)
Next component is to demonstrate personality.

There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.

My 5 things were:
 - I am a musician
 - I am a very social person
 - I have a high and fun energy
 - I have a good sense of humor
 - I am interested in video and photography

You may want to try at least 3 of your 5 things to fit into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.

Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.

Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.

Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.

You should always know how to build a tension to bring excitement to your audience so that they won't feeling a lack of resolution.

So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality...

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).

Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)

So my friends and I trying to walk away from him but he just won't back off, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).

Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.

As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.

So here is the last component of story.... “punch line”. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...

To have a successful delivery of punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.

The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.

The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.

Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.

So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.

Nothing wrong if you change some incidents in your story what matters is it can be  more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"

So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)

You now have that three components to your stories and once you do it right way... plus got some great stuff on your hands. You will surely gonna have a great story.

HOWEVER....there is still a few more sprinkles that I want to add to your story and you will gonna use it someday.

These things are the secret little tips of successful storytelling.

The first and most important is creating check in points.

Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.

Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"

Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.

Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."

You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.

If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.

An example in a passage of my story would be:

"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."

For the check in points, You don't always need a full response, a nod will be fine simply showing that the audience have regain their focus to your story.

Just when I know how to escalate and get good with women quickly, I think of those women I slept with but couldn't keep around.

And that is quite depressing.

There are so many women that has the ability to be a great girlfriend.

But I had my brain up my butt.

...maybe that's a little harsh.

But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:

First, I was working hard to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd but I've never fully recovered. And I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.

I've accepted what I am.

Sure, I like video games and comic books.

But...

Do you believe girls have cooler interests?

Is shopping, getting drunk and Myspace are cooler than what I'm into?

It's all relative.

Self-acceptance is what really matters.

A girl won't accept you if you don't accept yourself first.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because you can't really like a woman,  if you don't like yourself.  And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?

Although it sounds easy, self-acceptance is extremely rare. How often do you hear people say, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.

And I am one of them.

How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.

It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.

But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.

Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.

Because it is you.

You are not separated from your game.

The "game" is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.

Maybe you think "But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward."  I don't agree. That's not you.

That is the indistinct you.

That is you trying to come out, but the one that stop you from expressing what you really want to express is your ego and your old mental habits.

Before I go deeper to that, I want to skip to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.

I'm not conscious about shaping.

Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.

In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.

As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.

But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.

If you approach a woman and treat her like she's lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.

Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.

We go into this heavily in our workshops. I've developed lots of ways to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

And each woman is different. For example, I may want one woman to be just a mating partner. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend.  It all depends on what you want.

I remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.

Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.

But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.

If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.

http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd

"If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com"

Dating Tips for Men: Time Management - Part 1


Dating can be your best friend.

...OR your big enemy.

A lot of time, a man can feel like a slave to his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote,  "He thinks with his... You know."

Well it can be hard to NOT think that way if you aren't physically satisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We make our actions to achieve things and influence the world in a positive way.

I've personally faced one of the biggest challenges and it is balancing the two - my carnal obsession and achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can consume a lot of time. Women will suck away at your time if you don't know what you're doing.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...now

there's nothing wrong with spending quality time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, likewise to women.

In fact, it's a woman's NATURE to get the man's time - it's her way of getting you to invest in her. If she gets pregnant there's a lesser chance of you leaving her (this comes from our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with women. You see, most men want to give their time to women. By nature men are "givers."

They like to please women, protect them, and give them good feelings.

Guys have also a urges that can completely take over your thinking.

Both of these things can get in the way of you making the most of your life, your time.

I want you take a moment and ask this to yourself, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"

Now I know it wasn't about "money," or "control over my life," or "lots of my free time."

It was probably something like "good feelings, sexual pleasure, relaxation, excitement, feeling of safety, make her smile or feel good about herself, etc."

I think men have problems with how they use their time with women in two ways.

First, they think that the gifts they REALLY want to give aren't that valuable, so they overcompensate with other stuff - like spending too much time or money on a woman.

Second, men think that they are "getting" something valuable when a girl spends time with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe that women are a prize to attain, and that there's some inherent value in a pretty face.

It's not TRUE!

The best thing is to see women for what they are, nothing more, nothing less. They are cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it is really hard to break out of this mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to notice because you've been doing them for years.

Young men are taught that their urges  is crude and silly, and that it is just a favor that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad" syndromeThere's another societal factor going on, . In almost every TV commercial and sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband" is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This leads to the perception that women are "better," and thus, their time is more valuable than yours.

If your time is not so valuable, then you will feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.

But here's the thing - you won't be present for most of that time, if you are giving a woman too much time. You will be distracted, resentful, you will give her your "half-assed" attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION to women even though I'm only giving a smaller amounts of my time.

Aside from making our time better, this creates a VAST ATTRACTION because I left women craving more.

Now my girlfriends can't get enough of me - in fact, I don't GIVE THEM "enough."

Ask you know, "enough" would mean, "overexposure" to me, and women can't be pulled to what they already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play games with women and pretend to be busy or whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl - and don't spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women but still with focus on your personal goals.

Be the man on the go.Now in a short amount of time it requires that you are able to meet a lot of women, which I'll have to cover in another newsletter.

It's not good to see that men waste their lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and then they are left out ALONE.

Remember that women aren't property that you can keep or somehow bring with you when you die.

It doesn't mean that you can "keep" the women if you invest all your time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being honest with the amount of time you are willing give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It's either a girl will try to make you feel guilty, or you will feel it on your own. This is ok, it just means you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will usually from the social norm.

If you are in the habit of adopting the values that others try to impose onto you, you will probably experience some tension, guilt, discomfort, even loneliness at first.

That's why I set and develop the Attraction Code. It's all about self-control, finding true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge from within.

And there's no need for us to impose our goals onto you. Given the proper guidance, I know you are able to do that for yourself.


Vin

If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a
"10", then you should read this letter.

But first, let's go waaay back...

When I was in high school, there was this girl in my class
who was perfect.

That girl was so beautiful, cool and smart that it was hard
to look at her (and yet I can't take my eyes off away from
her)...

She was friendly to everyone and was one of the popular
kids in school.

We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were
flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).

I wanted to ask her to senior prom so badly...but I
chickened out at the last minute.

It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had
a crushed on me all the senior year.

I have talked to lot of men and this seems a common
experience to them. they missed an opportunity to meet this
ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who you crushed on from afar, or the girl
had broke their heart...

Ah, the elusive "10," the perfect girl that every guy wants
but never seems to attain.

I have a lot to say about so-called "10's." In one sense
they are another "breed" of woman, but at the same time,
it's that kind of thinking that makes them so.

Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women
and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women
will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help
you in finding your "perfect girl."

First of all, "10" is just a myth. No human being can be
considered as perfect. You CANNOT say that a woman who looks
prettier than the women is more "valuable".

A woman that turns you on and have a great chemistry with
you is the only true "10" and is the one that's perfect for
you.

Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10's, given
you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create
options for yourself.

It will be a failure on your part if you treat women
differently just basing solely on looks or on whose much
prettier.

Why?

Because almost all men do that.

The girl knows what you are about and she sees you as a
shallow guy.

But of course there are certain women that seem on another
"level" of beauty than the other. And they are treated much
differently than other women.

You need to understand on how you will deal with these
kinds of women.

As what I've said,  you shouldn't treat women
"differently."

Let me clear this up.

You shouldn't treat them BETTER than other women. But there
are a couple things you need to know.

First, she don't like a guy that chases her for her looks
alone.

More than anything else, a woman values a guy that
appreciates her personality.

Now for the benefits of yours, I'll give you a heads up.

The so-called "10's" has two different types.

The high self-esteem, and the low self-esteem.

The common type is the low self-esteem 10's. The women that
belongs to this group are used to being wanted for their
looks and they know that they didn't EARN an attention, so
they have a guilt complex.

In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are
in complete dumbasses.

May sound harsh but I call it like it is.

These women take away their validation will make them flip
out and do anything to get it back. They also respond to
jerk-behavior.

Anything.

(Aside from it, these women usually suck in bed and when
you get involved with them, they are in total head cases.)

Now high self-esteem 10's are women that have had a taste
of the elite -they realized early on that high levels of
society were attainable to them, and they made an effort to
be successful, intelligent, and make the most of their
lives.

These women know that they are just a little closer to a
great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to
put in the extra effort.

Usually HSE 10's are intellegent, have good attitudes, have
a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being
clubbing.

In fact, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't go to
the club. They just spend their nights being with their
families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or
studying if they were in college).

And here's another interesting thing. These women are
single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends.
Why?

Because they have high standards for themselves, and since
most guys are either too intimidated to ask them out, or act
too needy and pathetic around them, it's rare that they meet
another man who is on their level.

But here's the good news. These women are the easiest to
attract when you understand The Attraction Code.

The Attraction Code is about being a "male 10," the best
man you can be.

You'll notice an interesting thing when you start to embody
the Attraction Code.

Occasionally women that are less attractive will be rude to
you and you'll get an odd responses from them- that is
because they know they're not on your level - I call this as
Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some girls will try to protect
themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU
first.

But the most attractive, cool women will respond much
differently...you'll be amazed to see the most beautiful
women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether
on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you
are on their "level."

The girl will thinks "finally, a guy who can hang with me;
he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's
the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today,
instead of whistling from his car."

The Attraction Code is intended for these kinds of women.
And you'll also enjoy a lot of "adventures" with all kinds
of women, but this is about having the option of dating the
hottest, highest quality women.

There are lot of 10's out there waiting for you.

Don't waste you're time waiting for nothing.

Vin

I have been quite an expert on fast pick-ups. But there's one problem that I want to share with you.

You see, even though guys that can pull these off enjoy not only success with women straight out of a fantasy world and typically get women obsessed with them, with a fast pick-up comes a big problem...

SOMETIMES FAST PICK-UPS DON'T BECOME A RELATIONSHIP.

Sometimes a fast pick-up becomes a one night stand instead of converting it into a relationship.

Well, its fine for those that has that intention.

But a lot of times, you DO want to see the woman again - or possibly start a relationship with her.

Here's something I want you to know - In the past 2 years EVERY girl I have slept with has been under 4 hours.

And EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. wanted to see me again...

So why am I saying this?

I'm saying this NOT to brag. But I'm saying this so that you can realize the great amount of value I can offer you as a client of mine, and to prove a very important thing:

“HOW FAST YOU SLEEP WITH A WOMAN IS “NOT THE BASIS” TO START  A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.”

In fact there are three major points on how to have a continuing intimate relationship with a girl...

And this time I will reveal a few myths about this.

3 MYTHS ABOUT FAST PICK UPS

MYTH #1: "Build a 7+ hours comfort" with the girl before sleeping with her.

As I said, the amount of time you spend with a girl has nothing to do in sleeping with her.

In fact it has almost NOTHING to do with anything you do before you sleep with her. The secret lies in what you do AFTER you sleep with her.

I have got it down to an exact science. A series of actions and behaviors that practically guarantee she will not only see you again, but also be borderline obsessed with you...

Just have a natural behaviors that a person can learn from you in less than five minutes. Nothing fancy, no routines or lines...
 
Here's the REALITY of this situation.

The reality is some of the hottest and most intelligent women I have dated LOVED the excitement of getting physical really fast.

It's straight out of the movies, and very few guys can pull it off skillfully.

MYTH #2: You need to reassure the woman that you will see her again before sleeping with her.

A lot of guys try this... they imply that the women is "relationship material" or that he definitely wants to see her again.

Man... what a way to kill an intrigue right off the bat...

Guys do this and tend to come on wayyyy to strong. They appear too interested, too needy, to desperate to get a girlfriend.

But at the same time you should NEVER imply that it's a one night stand, or that you're just interested in bed.

This isn't very effective either...

MYTH #3: You have to be great in bed the first time you sleep with her.

Julian,  who is a good friend of mine, admitted that he is bad in bed and only lasts for about 3 minutes but converts girls like *CRAZY*.

Point here, he is NOT good in bed (his choice), and STILL gets women so crazy about him, they won't leave him alone.... (it just end up the women sitting there naked, watching him playing Gears of War on his Xbox360)

May be at this point you are thinking...

"THIS IS TOO ADVANCED, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS PICKING UP AND SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN!"

I know that.

But listen. This is an important information that you're going to need soon.

And let's be honest - when you DO start sleeping with women - wouldn't you rather have the CHOICE to see them again or not?

That's what my point is.